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Santa's Ticklish Helper
by Andy Bartsch-Thompson

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It was the day of the annual Christmas parade. Jordan’s overwhelming excitement and energy got him up before the alarm.

Jordan volunteered to construct, and ride on the Santa float. Even at 25, Jordan loved the holiday season as much as he did when he was a kid. For him it wasn’t the presents or even the religious aspect. Jordan loved the lights, music, and acts of goodwill that people showed. Of course he’d lost that innocent belief in Santa Claus, however he still believed there was a magic about Christmas that made anything possible. His curiosity was in overdrive as well. Reason being, he was not privy to his placement on the float. After breakfast and coffee, he jumped in the shower, brushed his teeth, and fixed his short jet black hair in a spiky style. Then he applied moisturizing lotion to his already soft, size 10.5 feet. Jordan wasn’t vain, but he did love taking care of and pampering himself. Grabbing his favorite red form-fitting tee and his blue skinny jeans; Jordan completed his look with black sneakers, and ran out the door.

When he arrived, Jordan discovered he was the first volunteer there. So he made himself useful by helping to set up the coffee and pastries. Not long after, everyone starting filtering in. After some idle chatting, consummation of the sweets and cups of ambition the volunteers and parade officials got down do business. Most of the brunt work had already been completed well in advance. This year the parade was being sponsored by one of the town’s most influential family owned business. The Hardy Corporation was known for not only their wealth and stature, but their community responsibilities too. The corporation was left to Kensington Hardy II, he shared his parent’s and Grandparent’s vision of giving back. After everything was completed, and the floats ready and waiting for the Grand Marshall to begin the festivities; assigned places on the floats were revealed.

Jordan could hardly contain his excitement. His hazel eyes sparkled like diamonds as he waited to hear his name. “Baxter, Jordan: you’re going to be an elf.” Annette, the volunteer coordinator called out. “Oh hell yeah, that’s awesome.” Jordan thought to himself. Most guys would’ve groaned or made a fuss about being an elf, but not Jordan. He was so much a kid at heart; he still loved cute, whimsical, and playful things. And you can’t get more cute, whimsical, or playful than an elf. Exuding more excitement and giddiness than a grown man should, Jordan ran up, got his costume, and headed for the changing area. Jordan knew the guys probably thought he was silly, but he really didn’t care. He was part of making a magical Christmas memory for the whole town. Little did he know, but his carefree giddy attitude caught the attention of a very important individual. “Stay with Jordan Baxter, when I give the signal test his sensitivity out.” “You got it boss.” “Unit two, time to put my plan into action, stay ready.” “Sure thing, we’re ready when you are.” The gentleman giving the orders sat back in the soft, high-backed leather chair. He laced his fingers together, and smiled.

In the changing area, Jordan was sitting on a bench putting on the sheer green tights provided with his costume. “Hey, mind if I sit down?” Jordan looked up to see who the voice belonged to. “Sure, let me just move my things.” As he gathered his clothes and shoes, Jordan noticed the guy was really cute. He was also assigned as an elf. “I’m Eli” “Nice to meet ya Eli, I’m Jordan.” They shook hands and went back to changing. Eli had a nice build with enough muscle definition, but not overly buff. “Hey Jordan, is that a tear in your tights?” Eli asked just as Jordan was about to slip on the felt green shoes. “I hope not, where?” Jordan started inspecting his legs and feet. “Wait, I think I see something. Here, let me help bro.” Eli held Jordan’s legs down with one hand and made his move on his unsuspecting prey.

“Hey, whahehe…” Jordan’s sentence was cut off when an eruption of giggles gushed out. Eli smiled at his ticklish discovery. “Guess it was my imagination. Hey you’re a pretty ticklish guy.” Eli remarked as he playfully poked his fingers along the base of Jordan’s scrunching toes. “Hehe yeah I’m hehe extremely Ahh not there.* Jordan squealed as he fell off the bench and writhed in ticklish helplessness on the floor. Eli was having a blast tickling poor Jordan. “Hey looks like Eli found Jordan’s ticklish. Do you think we should help Jordan?” Jake asked as he and Adam entered the changing area. “Nah, Jordan’s not as helpless as he looks. Besides he likes it and so does Eli.” “How do you know that?” Jake asked Adam, with a hint of mischief in his eyes. “We’ve had some tickle fights over the years.” “Really? Hmm” “Don’t even think about it Jake.”

“Hey Jordan, does this tickle too?” Eli asked his tickly toy as he slowly stroked his fingers along the shear, green fabric clad soles. “Ahh fuck, yes hehe it haha tickles like hehe crazy.” Jordan’s body was getting sweaty from trying to escape his captor’s hold. Suddenly, Jordan noticed Eli’s bare foot was right within reach. “Say Uncle, Jordy. Unless you… Hey hehe not the hehe feet” Eli immediately let go of Jordan and was immersed in his own ticklish world. “Now, what was that about saying Uncle?” Jordan grabbed Eli’s other leg, now having both trapped in his arm. He scratched all five nails along the spastic, soft bare soles. “Ahh hehe shit it hehe tickles bro.” Eli’s laughter rose in pitch and volume. “See what I mean? Jordan’s a beast tickler.” Adam said as he and Jake left the room. “Now say Uncle, and I’ll stop Eli.” Pulling Eli to the floor, Jordan straddled his legs, brought his struggling feet to his chest, pulled back the defenseless toes, and tickled along the base of Eli’s toes and the balls of his feet.

“Ahh don’t hehe tickle the toes hehe; I GIVE, I GIVE Hehe Uncle.” Eli screeched through his tortured laughter. “Hey, that was fun. Thanks Eli.” Jordan helped Eli to his feet and gave him a hug. “Heh no sweat, I’m a friend of Adam’s. He said you liked tickling, and since I do too he kinda told me you’d be fun in a tickle fight.” “Anytime you want to hangout’s cool with me. Tickles or no, you seem awesome to get to know. Besides I think it’d be fun to gang up on Adam sometime.” The two exchanged numbers and left the changing room. “Everyone, can I have your attention the parade’s about to start.” Annette hollered through the bullhorn. “Ok float drivers you have your instructions. All the elves for the Santa float have fun. You guys are supposed to be playful, just don’t hurt anyone. Everyone else, let’s get going and have the best parade this town’s seen. I want to thank everyone for their contributions and hard work.” Annette got off the main float and went to find the announcers from the local news station.

The parade began without a hitch. The crowd was massive. Children and parents alike were transported to the holiday fantasy world. Between the decorations in town, the awesome floats, and costumes you’d swear it was all real. “This has been the town’s most successful parade. Wouldn’t you say Tommy?” “I couldn’t agree more Dan.” The announcers were commenting on the professionalism and dedication that went into making such a success. “Oh look and here’s the float everyone’s been waiting for.” Tommy and Dan both turned towards the Santa float. “Look Dan, there’s Santa’s Village. Complete with playful elves.” Jordan, Eli, Adam, and Jake had engaged a snowball fight. Suddenly, Jordan winked at Eli and tackled Adam. “Hey what the... Hehe No Jordan Don’t. Not hehe here.” Jordan began tickling Adam’s ribs and into his pits. “It looks like that elf is in a ticklish situation.” Tommy commented “I guess even elves are ticklish huh?” Dan asked as he playfully poked Tommy’s ribs. “Hehe hey don’t tickle me.” Tommy squealed as he rubbed his sides. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

Jordan was so busy tickling Adam he was oblivious to Jake’s silent approach. “Ahh hehe no hehe fair.” Squealing, as he fell backwards. Jake jumped on his waist, and Eli held his arms. Adam quickly took advantage of the now helpless Jordan. “Oh shit…” Jordan was shrieking in ticklish agony as Adam’s wiggling fingers explored his exposed tickly ribs and pits. “Coochie coochie Jordan.” Adam teased as Jake added to the torment by squeezing his captive’s hips, thighs, and knees. Adding to the tickle torture, Eli slipped off the green felt shoes. He pinned the helpless feet under one arm, and drew soft, lazy circles and lines on the ticklish tootsies at his disposal. “Hehe you hehe guys hehe are so gonna Ahh hehe get haha it.” Jordan couldn’t move. All he could do was squeal and laugh. After another few minutes they gave poor, exhausted Jordan a break. After recovering, all four went back to having a snowball fight.

“No hard feelings, right Jordan?” Adam asked after the parade. “Nope it’s all good, it was fun.” Jordan goosed Adam’s sides while hugging his best bud. “Hehe no don’t tickle there.” Adam squirmed with high pitched giggles trapped in Jordan’s grasp. “Aw you’re so cute and tickly.” Jordan nuzzled his nose along Adam’s hyper ticklish neck. At the same time he wiggled his fingers along Adam’s lower back and waist. “Fuck hehe let hehe go hehe and get hehe shit off hehe my hehe neck.* Jordan complied and released his ticklish bud. “Are you coming to my party this weekend?” Adam asked giving Jordan one last hug. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Jordan was the last one to leave. Two strong hands came from nowhere, trapping Jordan’s arms behind him. Then a metal click was heard just before another hand covered Jordan’s mouth. “Mmmph” Jordan’s voice muffled by the leather glove. “Just be cool Jordan, we’re not going to hurt you. Just stay calm, and everything will be fine.

The arms forced Jordan into a black limo and he was whisked away. His mind was in overdrive wondering what these people were after. “Well, on the Brightside they can’t want money. After all I’m being driven in a kick-ass limo. They also don’t want to hurt me, they didn’t even use guns, and they undid the cuffs after ushering me in here.” Jordan thought to himself in an attempt to calm his beating heart. The tinted windows didn’t help him in figuring out where he was being taken. Just when he’d resigned to sitting back in wait, the limo slowed to a stop. Another few minutes of what seemed like curves, the long black car came to its destination. Jordan heard the two front doors open, and in just a few moments he was blinded by sunlight. “Holy Shit, I’ve never seen a place this big before.” Jordan commented as his surprisingly apologetic and accommodating “escorts” led him inside. “Please wait here, our employer will be with you shortly.” The red haired guy said, closing the doors behind him.

Jordan took in his surroundings as he waited. He guessed it was the office. There was a very heavy and expensive looking mahogany desk with a large leather chair. Behind that was a floor to ceiling glass framed French door and balcony. All the windows were floor to ceiling, and had sheer curtains on them to allow the natural light in. An oriental rug adorned the shiny hardwood floor. There was also a massive fireplace and large built-ins with tons of books on them. Jordan was shaken from his reverie when he heard the doorknob turn. He was shocked when he came face to face with the man who’d summoned him. “Hello Mr. Baxter, I’m…” “Kensington Hardy, you’re the employer?” “Please, have a seat and call me Kenneth. Would you like something to eat or drink?” “After the way I was brought here, I think a scotch rocks would be nice.” Kenneth went to the credenza and poured two scotch rocks, handing one to Jordan. After taking a sip, Jordan sat down beside Kenneth at the fireplace. Jordan decided to finally break the awkward moment of silence.

“It’s been nice meeting you Mr. err I mean Kenneth. But why was I brought here in such a manner and for what purpose?” “First, let me apologize for the abrupt way my employee’s brought you. I hope they didn’t cause you any harm. Second, my son Kenny; he still believes in Santa. The mall Santa’s aren’t enough anymore. I have created a set up with some other employees, and I need you to enact my plan.” “I still don’t understand why I’m so important.” “Well Jordan, may I call you Jordan?” “Yes sir.” “I’ve been watching you since you volunteered. That loving, free spirited, childlike, and most of all kind personality you have was just what I’ve been searching for. And when I saw the playful tickle fight during the parade, I just knew you were perfect.”

Jordan took a sip of his drink, and blushed. “Y-you umm saw that huh?” “Oh no need to be embarrassed young man, I personally think a ticklish man is quite fun.” Kenneth smiled as he reached over and gently wiggled his fingers between Jordan’s ribs. “Hehe eep” Jordan squealed almost dropping his drink. “There it’s that cute innocence that a lot of adults don’t have.” “So let me get this straight. You want me to play Santa for your kid?” “No, I want you to play the part of an elf. Kenny thinks you’re a real elf, he also saw you. He wants to make you take him to meet the “real” Santa. All you have to do is withstand my son’s tactics to make you take him to Santa for about an hour.” “He’s not gonna hurt me is he?” “No, no pain involved, he um will tickle you though. He’s quite a tickle enthusiast.”

Sitting back, Jordan chewed on his cheek as he thought about the whole proposal. “You will be compensated for your troubles.” Kenneth walked over to his desk, and pulled up Jordan’s bank info. “I have my ways.” Kenneth noticed the shock in Jordan’s face. I have wired $500,000.00 split between your checking and a new savings account.” “Sir, that’s an outrageous amount. I can’t take your money for doing something to reinforce your child’s belief in Santa.” “Jordan, I insist. I have more money than God, and I can always tickle you till you agree to accept. I’m also kinda of a tickle enthusiast.” Kenneth wiggled his fingers in Jordan’s direction for emphasis. “Okay, hehe I’ll accept your offer. Besides it sounds fun and exciting.” “Great, here’s another elf costume. Just go into Kenny’s wing. You can change there, and I’ll send him in. Here’s the address, tell him to give it to my pilot, and you both will be brought to the “North Pole.”” Jordan was shown to a bathroom changing area that could’ve held three of his apartments. After changing, he walked into another part of the wing.

“Ahh hehe, who hehe; don’t hehe tickle hehe there.” Jordan fell to the floor in a heap of giggles from a surprise tickle attack. Before he could react, his attacker tied his wrists together and guided him to a futon. “Who are you?” Jordan finally saw his tickler. A cute guy with toned muscles, his light brown hair fell in shags around his soft hazel eyes. Jordan guessed he was in his mid twenties, and looking down he saw the most gorgeous feet he’d ever seen. “I’m Kenny, your worst nightmare.” Kenny smiled as he walked down and restrained Jordan’s ankles. “Whoa, you’re Kenny? I was expecting a little kid.” Jordan struggled against his bonds. He had to hand it to Kenny, the knots were done right. “I guess Dad left out my age. He loves me, but a 29 year old going to a mall Santa isn’t the most common thing. Jordan really couldn’t argue with that logic. “So, you’re gonna take me to Santa, right?” “Not after you’ve tied me up, no way bro.” “I think you’ll be begging to take me to the guy in red. I saw how ticklish you are at the parade.” “Oh when I get out of here, I’m gonna tickle the living shit outta you.” “Big talk, don’t forget elf boy you can’t move.” Kenny taunted his struggling, but helpless prey. “Now where is Mr. Claus?” Cracking his knuckles and wiggling his fingers as he approached Jordan.

“Uh you know all that tickle stuff was just for the camera don’t you? I-I’m really not that ticklish.” Jordan shifted nervously in his bonds as the young Mr. Hardy got closer. “Well, we’ll see just how not ticklish you are.” “Hehe no don’t...” Jordan convulsed in a fit of girlish giggles as Kenny’s fingertips gently pressed in the hollows of the soft exposed pits of young Jordan. “It seems you’re quite the little ticklish elf.” “Ok hehe okay I admit. I’m ticklish as hell.” Jordan’s body was shaking and starting to sweat. “So where’s the big Claus?” “I’m not hehe hey hehe don’t haha do that.” Jordan screamed as Kenny’s ten fingers found the tender spots between his ribs and pits. “We’ll see, I’m gonna have fun breaking a real elf.”

“Are you ticklish here?” Kenny lightly wiggled his fingers around Jordan’s neck and ears as he leaned down, stiffened his tongue, and slowly licked the sweat covered pits. “Shit that’s torture.” Jordan was hurled into an unending swirl of ticklish sensations. “It can all be over, if you tell me what I want.” Licking his index fingertip, Ken wiggled it around the heaving belly button. “Holy fuckin’ shit, that tickles.” The squeal almost pierced both their ear drums. Jordan’s body jerked and yanked against the bonds. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. Kenny was definitely an amazing tickler. Kenny gave Jordan a break. He patted his forehead with a damp towel and gave his captive a drink of water. “What’s your name elf boy?” “It’s Jordan.” He replied through heavy pants. “You’re a freakin’ killer tickler dude.” “Really, Heh thanks. I’m into tickling, and cute guys.” “You’re gay?” “Yep always have and will be. Now where is Santa?”

Kenny walked down to Jordan’s trapped feet. “Oh c’mon, not my feet, please have some mercy.” “Tell me where Santa is.” He slowly slipped off the green felt shoes. Jordan’s toes habitually curled to protect the ticklish bases. “Aw, who would’ve guessed elves had such cute feet.” “Um thanks? I guess?” Kenny was finding it hard staying in the character he’d created. He was quickly falling for Jordan’s modest charm. “I’ve got an idea.” Throwing Jordan’s senses off, Kenny jumped on the futon. His lightning fast fingers kneaded the muscular thighs and knees of his restrained toy. “Holy fuckin’ hell.” Jordan’s voice raised two octaves as his worst ticklish spots were being exploited. “Give me the information.” The tormenting tickling digits of Jordan’s captor wreaked havoc with his nervous system. His body was glistening with sweat as his voice was starting to get raspy. “Time for the kill.”

Turning around, all ten digits attacked the soft soles in front of him. Jordan’s laughter went silent. His body wrenched and thrashed its worst. “Okay, okay I give. You win I’ll tell you where he is.” Kenny stopped his tickle assault. Got off his spent tickly conquest, and got a towel and glass of water. “Here, this is where Santa’s at.” Jordan reached in his pocket handing the address to Kenny, once he’d been set free. “You’re letting me go right?” “Nope, you’re coming with me, I’m gonna make sure this isn’t a decoy.” Jordan breathed a heavy sigh, as he got up and followed Kenny to the limo. He told the driver to go to the address. The two boys climbed in the back. “Would you like something to drink?” “Anything alcoholic.” Handing Jordan a vodka rocks Kenny poured one also. Along the way, Jordan noticed how sexy and low key Kenny was. Inside, he could feel the genuine caring spirit Kenny possessed. Then, to cement the hotness, Jordan noticed Kenny’s socked soles. He glanced at Kenny and stealthily made his move. “Hey hehe no hehe fair.” Kenny squealed as he slipped off the seat. “Hmm looks like little Kenny’s a tickwish wittle boy.” Jordan had gotten his captor’s ankles in a choke hold and ripped his ankle socks off. “Not the bare feet.” Kenny’s girly squeals filled the back of the limo.

Suddenly, to Kenny’s relief the limo came to a stop. He quickly yanked his soft ticklish feet from Jordan’s iron grip. And replaced his socks and shoes. Exiting the lavish car, Jordan noticed they were at a warehouse that had been abandoned. He and Kenny followed the driver into the door, to the guy’s surprise it opened seemingly on its own. “Oh my God.” Jordan and Kenny were looking at a true winter wonderland. The inside of the warehouse was covered in fake snow. A brightly lit workshop was milling with toy making activity. There were decorated trees and candy cane lined paths. One path led to a festive house. A pleasant looking older lady was on the porch with two clear mugs of steaming cider. “Please come in, you’ve been expected.” Jordan and Kenny looked at each other and like wonder-filled kids ran up and gratefully accepted the drinks.

“This is incredible.” Jordan was once again filled with the wonder he had as a child believing Santa was real. The lady led them to a warm library. “Mr. Claus will be right along.” Within seconds, the door opened and once again Jordan was faced with Mr. Hardy dressed as Santa. To Jordan’s utter amazement, Kenny ran up and gave his Dad a hug. “So Mr. Baxter, what did you think of our little adventure?” The elder Hardy man said with a smile. “I’m confused.” Kenny walked up to Jordan, took his hand, and led him to the fireplace. “Jordan, let me come clean. This whole thing, except the parade of course was my father’s and my idea. From the moment you signed up and threw yourself into the parade, I was attracted to you. I loved your warm playful heart and attitude. You’re very adventurous and open-minded. And after meeting you my father was sure we’d be a great couple. So we decided to take a different approach to my asking you to be my boyfriend.” Jordan was in shock. He couldn’t believe anyone would go through so much trouble and effort just for him.

“I know it’s a lot to digest, and if you need some time to think about it. I understand. Also, I’ve wired an extra $300,000.00 to your bank as a thank you for being such a good sport.” Finally, Jordan broke his silence. “So you’re telling me this was all so you could ask me to be your boyfriend? You and your family really did all this for me?” “Well, you and the children in need to give them some hope at the holidays. As well as the other things we do to help our community.” “I’ll go get the driver to take you home, so you can relax and think.” Before he could get to the front door, Jordan snuck up behind Kenny and tackled him in the fake snow. Kenny looked up at Jordan’s smiling, and shining eyes. “I’ll go out with you on two conditions.” “What are they?” “You let me help with the kids and the charities.” “You got it, what’s the other…. Hehe I’m ticklish hehe as hell.” Kenny squirmed and thrashed as Jordan kneaded his fingers between his new boyfriend’s ribs and into his pits. “We have lots of tickle play. I’m so gonna tickle the hell out of you for tying me down and tickling me.”

The elder Mr. Hardy smiled to himself as his son’s ticklish laughter rang through the warehouse. “I think it’s definitely going to be the beginning of many merry holiday’s for us all” He thought, taking a sip of his drink.